Digging Deep and ARP: The Conversation Skills AI Can't Replace

I like to tell our agents that the strategies in this business don't really change. The tools do. Right now the tool everyone is talking about is AI, and plenty of people are asking whether agents will even be needed in a few years.

My view is the opposite. As more of the busywork gets automated, the human part of the job matters more. The consultation, the conversation, the ability to understand what someone actually needs.

So when Chris Smith came on Best Advice Ever, I wanted to talk about two techniques from his book The Conversion Code that I think are more important now than when he wrote them: digging deep, and Acknowledge, Respond, Pivot.

Technology should scale your humanity

Chris reminded me of a book he co-wrote back in 2013 with Austin Allison, the founder of dotloop, called People Work. Its core idea is that technology isn't a replacement for being belly to belly with people. Used well, it lets you do more of it.

That's the lens I'd use for AI. Let it handle the reports and the reminders so you have more time for real conversations.

Digging deep is just genuine curiosity

Digging deep means going below the surface of the questions you were already planning to ask.

Chris demonstrated it on me during the interview. He asked how long I'd been in real estate. Eighteen years. What did I do before that? Construction project management. Then he asked what I learned in that job that helps me in this one. That third question is the one that got a real answer: managing people and managing projects.

Every agent asks buyers about bedrooms, budget, and timeline. Digging deep is asking why.

A buyer says they want three bedrooms. Why three, and not two or four? Now you might hear: "It's just the two of us, but we're planning on having a kid in the next couple of years." That changes the search. It changes the neighborhoods, the school conversation, and how long they'll likely stay.

Same with financing. "Yes, we're pre-approved." Great. How did that go? Was it smooth or stressful? The answer tells you a lot.

Earning the right to make a recommendation

Chris shared a line from his co-author on Exactly What to Say, Phil M. Jones: being a salesperson is earning the right to make a recommendation. You earn it through curiosity and empathy.

The trap is that this gets harder the longer you've been in the business. After hundreds of consultations, it's easy to run through the same checklist and jump straight to your solution. That's when you start sounding like everyone else.

ARP: Acknowledge, Respond, Pivot

ARP is a simple framework for handling questions and objections. Acknowledge what the person said. Respond to it. Then pivot the conversation forward.

My biggest takeaway has always been that the first step matters most. If you don't acknowledge what someone said, they don't hear anything that follows. The respond and the pivot don't matter.

Chris learned it doing phone sales, where you can't rely on body language, so you need a way to say "I heard you." He compared it to a server at a steakhouse taking an order for a big table. One medium rare, one well done, one surf and turf. When the server repeats the order back, you trust they'll get it right.

In practice it sounds like this. A lead says, "We found a home on Zillow and want to know if it's still available." You say, "You found a home on Zillow and want to know if it's still available? No problem, let me look that up for you."

It feels almost too simple. It also buys you a second to gather yourself before you respond.

Tie your pitch to what they told you

When you dig deep and acknowledge well, your recommendation stops sounding like a pitch. Instead of listing your features, you connect your plan to the goal or worry they shared ten minutes ago.

"Earlier you mentioned you need to be settled before the school year starts. Here's how we'd work backward from that date." That lands differently than any list of services.

Practice is the whole game

None of this works by reading about it. On our team, we run roleplay practice that's open to agents from all over the country, not just ours. What we keep coming back to is that it isn't about memorizing scripts. It's about listening well enough to ask a relevant next question, instead of just reading down a list.

Anyone can ask the standard questions. The agents who win are the ones who hear the answer.

Want to hear the full conversation? Listen to my interview with Chris Smith on Best Advice Ever.

Mike Ferrante
The Mike Team at LPT Realty
www.21mike.com
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